Chapters

March 22, 2024

Chapter 41: I was a victim of an online scam

Are you currently looking for a job? Do you have your resumé posted on job sites? Well, be careful. I was recently a victim of an online scam and lost $2000. I felt like such an idiot. There were red flags everywhere, and I did not see them.

March 1, 2024

Chapter 40: Everbody Hurts

So what is surviving suicide like, you may be asking? It’s complicated. First, there is a feeling of having failed. If you attempted it, it’s because you wanted it - but it didn’t happen. So, there is a part of you that still wishes you had been successful. In my case, I don’t feel an overwhelming relief that I’m still alive. I’m still enduring the same physical, emotional, and mental suffering. Surviving it has left me bewildered.

December 25, 2023

Chapter 39: I'm A Loser Baby

That’s right. I’m a loser. I’m not a loser as a person; in other words, I’m not calling myself a loser because I feel I’m unworthy or lack self-esteem. I’m calling myself a loser because I have, over time, lost everything that truly mattered.

December 25, 2023 • (version française)

Chapter 38: Je suis perdant

C'est exact. Je suis un perdant. Je ne suis pas un perdant en tant que personne; en d'autres termes, je ne me considère pas comme un perdant parce que je me sens indigne ou que je manque d'estime de soi. Je me considère comme un perdant parce que j'ai, avec le temps, perdu tout ce qui comptait vraiment.

December 14, 2023

Chapter 37: Life, It's More Than A Love Song

Why has life become so hard? Because there is no such thing as “fair” in this world - that's why. Life sure threw a monkey wrench in ours. When I think about it, and I look at most people’s lives, very few ever really make it through unscathed - very few.

November 6, 2023

Chapter 36: When Your Dreams Die

A close friend of mine recently texted me a link to a YouTube video called “When Your Dreams Die” that I’d like to share with all of you. In the video, the psychologist proposes that there are two types of grief. We are all familiar with the first form of grief, like when someone close passes, a relationship breaks up, a parent loses a child, etc. However, the 2nd form of grief is known as “ambiguous grief.” In this chapter, I will delve into what that is and how it affects us all.

October 21, 2023

Chapter 35: Is There An Afterlife?

I decided to write about a subject recently presented to me by a friend. Well, it was more of a question, actually. We were having lunch, and he asked me, “What do you believe happens in the afterlife, or more precisely, do you believe there is an afterlife?” Quite the existential question!

July 26, 2023

Chapter 34: The Wheel of Life

This chapter is much more about the music than it is about my health challenges, and that's okay. I'm trying not to weigh down all the chapters. So I guess the big question is, which song(s) will I choose to underscore this chapter? Click to find out.

July 19, 2023

Chapter 33: My Dream Avatar

Have you ever heard about the 5 seconds or so gap between sleeping and waking? It's the only 5 seconds of peace you'll get all day. When your life is one giant disaster, you have absolutely nothing to look forward to, and you'd really rather be dead than alive; those 5 seconds are precious.

June 16, 2023

Chapter 32: One, Two, Three, Lamborghini

I was taken for a ride in a $500,000 Lamborghini. Yes, that's right—a Lamborghini Huracàn STO, to be exact. Words cannot describe the experience. Long story short, this past winter, shortly after my hip surgery, someone I know offered to take me for a ride in it when summer came around. In the blink of an eye, I went from "probably will never happen" to "it's going to happen!"

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