Life, It's More Than A Love Song

What a life we had

I spend a lot of time revisiting the past. I guess it's because the present, which for the last 7 years, has really sucked, forces me to hang on to something. When I'm resting on the couch, my mind travels across the last 20 years with my wife, from whom I have been separated for 2 years. For no particular reason other than to remember, I went through hundreds and hundreds of photos of our life recently. My God. What a life we had. The things we did, the places we saw, and the moments we shared were all nothing short of beautiful. (I should state that although this chapter is about how life can turn on a dime, I do appreciate the good times, even though they are mostly behind me. I know that I was lucky to have lived what I did, despite being afflicted with serious illnesses and living through multiple surgeries and the loss of close friends and family.) When my wife and I met 20 years ago, I was sure that I had found salvation and that I had been given a second chance at love and life. And for years and years, that is what it was. My wife changed me for the better in ways that I could never have imagined. But the reality of life is that it can only be wonderful until tragedy strikes or someone gets ill - as I have.

I spent 6 hours at the hospital yesterday in preparation for a procedure that I feel is most likely not even necessary. I spent a similar amount of time today at a different hospital doing it all over again for a different upcoming procedure. Why? Why has life become so hard? Because there is no such thing as “fair” in this world - that's why. Life sure threw a monkey wrench in ours. When I think about it, and I look at most people’s lives, very few ever make it through unscathed - very few. All you need to do is look at all the celebrities who went from the top to the bottom in just a few years, i.e. Elvis, Michael Jackson, and Whitney Houston, for example, to see that as wonderful as life can be one day, it can be equally horrible and tragic the next. Or just listen to the news! We are surrounded by tragic story after tragic story. I don’t think I’m saying anything most of us don't already know.

Come And Gone

Most of us have had our share of suffering in some form or another or at least have watched others suffer. I saw pictures of me in my mid-thirties when I was still young and buff and strong, juxtaposed by pictures of me in my forties, sick, diminished, and mega-bloated. It’s hard to look at these pictures. I was so transformed, quite literally like Elvis. And my wife? She was devastatingly beautiful. Not that she is not still beautiful now, but you know what I mean - youth is youth. She was stunning. And she was mine. This chapter was taken from a message I sent to my wife, which I adapted for a larger audience. I wanted to share my feelings with all of you. Having lost everything that ever meant anything to me, the only thing left are the memories. That’s it. The rest is gone.

And now here we are, my wife over there and me over here. We were once ONE, but now we are two lost and hurting souls. Forrest Gump was right when he famously said, “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get.” He’s right, except not every bite tastes like chocolate.

A very fitting song was playing as I was typing this message. It's called "More Than A Love Song" by the Black Pumas. 

It had a chorus that went like this:

Because life is more, more than a love song

It's more than a fantasy, more than a little bit

This life is more, more than a dream, more than a fantasy

More than a little bit

Ain't that the truth?

Written by Patrick Franc - a.k.a. Your Friendly Neighborhood Bionic Man