Hold Me Close

And Don't Let Me Go

January 11, 2026

Edited January 11, 2026

Lucky Seven

I’ve had six surgeries in my life, all due to joint damage caused by a degenerative autoimmune disease I’ve lived with since I was 21. I’m now 55. Surgery, unfortunately, is not new territory for me.

My most recent operation was in January 2023: a revision of my right hip. The worn components were replaced—routine, relatively speaking. By then, I’d already had two hip replacements and a revision, so this was effectively my fourth hip surgery. I knew the drill. I knew the pain. I knew the recovery. Familiar territory. I healed quickly and moved forward.

This time, though, feels different.

On January 26, I’m scheduled for a reverse shoulder replacement. I’ve never had a shoulder replaced before. Last year, I underwent what I now think of as exploratory surgery on my left shoulder. The plan was to repair a torn rotator cuff, but once inside, the surgeon discovered the cuff was intact. Still, I went home with my arm in a sling for several days.

That brief experience was a wake-up call.

With one arm immobilized, I suddenly understood how fragile independence can be—especially when you live alone, as I do. So many everyday tasks become monumental. Preparing meals. Opening jars. Cutting food. Driving. Using a computer. Tying shoelaces. Zipping a jacket. Even getting dressed or using the toilet becomes an exercise in planning and patience. One hand changes everything.

Reverse Shoulder Replacement Surgery Procedure – Video

Home Alone

This upcoming surgery will be far more demanding. I’ll be in a sling for six full weeks, and this time it’s my right arm—my dominant arm—that will be immobilized. Managing daily life with only my left hand will be a challenge. Sleeping will be difficult too: the arm must remain propped and stable, no rolling onto my right side. It’s impossible not to feel deep empathy for people who live permanently without a limb. The loss of function is profound.

I explored the idea of recovering in a convalescent home, but most are now private—and prohibitively expensive. I contacted the CLSC, only to learn that services can’t be arranged in advance; the request must come directly from the hospital after surgery. So, for now, I genuinely don’t know where I’ll land once I’m discharged. There are some convalescent options available through the CLSC—but availability is uncertain. Will there be space for me? I won’t know until the moment arrives.

What I do know—thanks to testimonials from Facebook support groups—is that this surgery is painful, and recovery is slow. I’ve been prescribed an aggressive pain-management regimen: Tramadol, Lyrica, and Extra Strength Tylenol, taken together, plus an anti-inflammatory. This is on top of the Dilaudid I already take twice daily for chronic pain.

After the sling comes six months of physiotherapy. Full recovery is estimated at six to eight months, meaning that half—if not two-thirds—of 2026 will be spent healing.

My biggest concern isn’t the pain; it’s the outcome. Specifically, my range of motion. Results vary widely. Despite how damaged my shoulder joint is, I currently still have full mobility. I hope to keep that. Some patients report being unable to lift their arms above their heads. That uncertainty is hard to sit with.

To The Ones I Love

For at least six weeks, I won’t be posting much—if at all. And it may be a while before I can wrap my arms around someone I love

Today is January 11, a date that carries particular weight for me. In the mid-1990s, I lost my godmother on January 11 while I was away vacationing in the Dominican Republic. A few years later, in 1999, I lost a very close friend who was killed in a car crash on that same day.

I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell. But every once in a while, when things feel especially heavy, I find myself reaching out to my guardian angels, asking quietly for a bit of help.

To those I love, and to everyone reading this, I’ll leave you with a beautiful ballad by Nico Paulo.

Now Or Never - Nico Paulo

Patrick Franc - Your Friendly Neighbourhood Bionicman


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